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GAME AND BEER JOKES


By using the letter marked in the solutions you can make a new word
(In order to help you, you find the number of letters of each word between brackets)

1) The first letter of the most important person in a brewery. (6)
2) The 3rd letter of the process name starting after adding the yeast. (12)
3) The 3th letter of a very important part in the brewery. (10)
4) The first letter of a very ingredient to brew beer. (5)
5) The 3rd letter of an aromatic ingredient to brew beer. (4)
6) The 3rd letter of the name of the liquid extract of sugar malt. (4)
7) The 4th letter of the Christian name of the scientific born in Bruges in 1548. (5)
8) The 7th letter of a machine to cool the liquid extract of sugar malt. (13)
9) The 2nd letter of an ingredient to ferment. (5)
10) The 4th letter of a thing to taste beer. (5)
11) The first letter of the abbreviation you can see on the fermentation tanks in our brewery. (3)


VISIT
the smallest museum of Bruges


PLAYFUL BEERATTRIBUTES
Free entrance with a museum glass Special Cuvee in hand



A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up 10 glasses and start filling them up with beer. So the bartender starts filling the glasses up with beer, and the man is right behind him drinking them straight down. The bartender says, hay buddy what's your hurry? The man says if you had what I have you would do the same thing. The bartender backs up and says what do you have. The man says about 75 cents!
There was this man who was supposed to go out on a business meeting but instead went to a bar with a friend. The man got so drunk he vomited all over himself. So he's sitting there, crying to the bartender and the bartender say to the guy, "why don't you stick $20 in your pocket, go home and tell your wife that you went into this bar for one drink after the meeting and this drunk ran across the bar and throws up all over you. So the man goes home, tells his wife the story. She reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, She says to his husband, I don't get it, there's $40 in here, The man say, honey, you won't believe it but he shit in my pants too.
The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is, they all run out except this one old man. So the devil walks up to him and says" Do you know who I am?" and the old man sips his beer and answers "yep". The Devil says "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" The old man looks over and says" I've been married to your sister for 27 years, why the hell should I be scared of you."
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was beer on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. After he finished the beer, he sits the empty bottle in front of him and orders another beer. The takes that beer and pours it on his hand. He does this two or three times and finally the bartender comes up to him and asks why he keeps pouring beer on his hand. The guy says, "I got to get my date drunk before I go home!"
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. Hey says "Barman, a black and tan please!" The barman makes him the best black and tan he ever tasted, using Guinness and Bass Ale. As he enjoys his beer, another man walks in and sits next to him.
He says "Barman, a Coors Light please." The first man says "Ahh Coors Light, that brinks back memories, like the time I made love in a boat." The other man says "What do you mean?" The first guy says "Well, It's fucking close to water."
Q: How many Irishman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

A guy was watching the game, drinking a few beers and popping beer nuts into his mouth, when his wife began yelling at him. He turned his head toward her and accidentally popped a beer nut into his ear. Both him and his wife tried and tried but neither could get it out. All right she said, lets get you to the hospital. As they walked outside their daughter and her boyfriend walked up and she asked, where are you and dad going. The mother said, we're off to the hospital, your father has a beer nut caught in his ear. The boyfriend then asked, before you go can I try to dislodge it. The boyfriend then stuck two fingers up the fathers nose and told him to blow. The father blew and out popped the beer nut. The mother then asked the father, our daughters boyfriend is so intelligent, what do you think he'll be when he grows up. The father replied: by the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.

A Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot go out to a pub and order 3 pints. They each find a fly floating on the top of their mugs. The Brit says, "Bartender, can I have a spoon?" and quietly removes the fly from his brew. The Irishman says, "Get out of there!" and flicks the fly away with a finger. The Scot picks up the fly with his fingers and says, "Alright ya wee bastard. Spit it out. Now!"

Q. "Do you know why you should always invite TWO Baptists to go fishing with you?" A. "Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer; invite two and they won't drink any."
Some British workers in Saudi Arabia were buying contraband beer from a local person. The beer tasted funny to them but that was the only source in the country so they continued buying, Finally one was ready to go on home leave so he took a sample to be analysed at a lab in England. The guys back in Saudi kept buying and the beer kept tasting funny. After more than 6 weeks they got a letter from the laboratory in England. Text of the letter follows: Dear Sir, Your camel has diabetes.
A guy is sitting at the bar enjoying a draft beer when a great looking young woman sits down beside him and gives him a dynamite smile. Just as he's figuring out his opening line, she says in a loud indignant voice that the whole bar can hear "Your apartment! Absolutely not!" and she gets up and stomps off to the other end of the bar. He sits there in confusion and embarrassment, nursing his beer and wondering how to get out of there. After a while, she comes back, sits next to him again, and says in a low voice. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm conducting an experiment to see how people react in unexpected stressful situations. Please accept my apology and let me pay for your beer." The guy stands up indignantly and says at the top of his voice, "What! A hundred dollars?!"

My wife came with instructions. Plenty of instructions. She instructed me on how to do everything all over again. And she was quick to point out all my faults. I only came with two instructions......to show her how to use a beer opener...and how to pick up the empties.

Q. "Do you know why you should always invite TWO Baptists to go fishing with you?" A. "Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer; invite two and they won't drink any."


BEER TROUBLESHOUTING GUIDE
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself latched to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in front of mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about his house training.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through the bottom of an empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender before departure.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth with bag.
SYMPTOM: Consciousness regained without recollection of how you got there.
FAULT: Probable time and/or space warp.
ACTION: Ask bartender for another Belgian Beer

BEER LOGIC

You take a glass half-full and a glass half-empty. Half-full is in fact the same as half-empty. Two glasses half-full are equal to two glasses half-empty. So in fact... a full glass is equal to an empty glass.